We get all so frustrated when our partners don’t pay attention to us or do nothing on household tasks. This is especially the fact when we are new parents. We get so mad, in fact, that we sometimes stop doing the most crucial thing that new parents have to do with each other: listening. The most important aspect of any healthy marriage, especially for new parents, is empathy and attention to the feelings of your partner. If your companion is in distress, you must be able to put everything down and listen.
If you criticize, condemn, or blame your partner for revealing what you feel, it is tough for your companion to listen.
In this article, we discuss some practical tips for keeping your love alive and well.
The Gottman Method
The Gottman Method for healthy relationships is a process of couple-based therapy and guidance on developing studies of marital connections by psychologist John M. Gottman.
There are nine elements of what Gottman names “The Sound Relationship House,” from couples making cognitive models of each other’s world to studying how to break through deadlock connections.
Structured counseling focuses on developing empathy and skills to help partners keep love and respect, turn to each other to fulfill their needs, handle tension, and pursue their dreams.
The Gottman approach is relevant at any stage of life. Couple therapy can be used to strengthen engaged new parents at the beginning of a relationship or regain healthy functioning, whether caught in constant conflict, dealing with infidelity, or involved in other negative behaviors. All counseling is based on a couple’s patterns of communication. Therefore, they learn and adopt marriage-building abilities and problem-solving skills.
If your main objective is to be in a healthy, engaged, lasting love relationship with a family, the first step is to understand and see what that relationship looks like. It is likely that you already had a good relationship before you added your new addition. But, how has that changed your relationship goals?
You have probably had few role models for a win-win relationship, the kind of real love, which makes you happier, healthier, and wealthier. However, it can be challenging for you to picture this kind of connection and difficult to acquire the skills that happy couples usually do and practice.
New parents know that there can be failures. However, loving and happy couples admire and appreciate each other. Every partner cherishes who the lover is and what the Beloved has received. Both live in a state of grace, recognition, and gratitude. This habit leads to the couple’s great personal happiness.
In happy couples, new parents tend to see the useful attributes of each other rather than their personality flaws. In the practice of this habit of caring, the partner’s imperfections are not the focus.
New happy parents reflect on the blessings of their lives and show gratitude daily. Studies show that appreciation brings success and happiness. A healthy couple always visits each other in word or writing.
Perceive Anxiety as an Opportunity
Most new parents want to satisfy their needs. However, many people are not very good at articulating their needs responsibly or effectively. If it happens to express them, you stubbornly convey your message and offend the person you love.
When a new parent has a child, their life entirely changes, and they require a specific type of help. Finding a method to look for and identify needs in a bond is a solution to relationship clarity. Taking extra attempts to address your own needs and communicate them gently can help you and your partner prevent a confrontation.
Keep in mind that humiliating someone because he has obligations never ends well. You should take some practical actions, such as giving extra help, hugging, spending time for romance or sex, or caring for the baby so your partner can have a nap and a shower!
Be respectful and note that you cannot read each other’s minds, along with your companion. Talking about your needs freely and consistently is the best way to ensure that everyone meets your needs.
There are many ways to address pressures and issues, and the next phase is challenging: it works only when both partners are ready to make efforts.
This means that you have to quit fighting, being right, or believe that your partner has more common sense. You have to identify your strength and work as a cohesive and stable team. According to John Gottman, the most exceptional gift you can give a child is a healthy relationship between you and your partner.