Attention Seeking – All You Need to Know

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all you need to know on attention seeking

We often come across attention seekers. They come with a reservoir of conflict and drama. But it has become very important to understand the psychology behind attention-seeking in this day and age.

We need to identify the underlying forces that persuade attention seekers to act that way. Only then we will be able to get rid of this behaviour.

In this post, we’re going to delve deeper into this concept and help you achieve self-improvement.

What can cause attention-seeking behaviour?

The first and foremost thing is to understand why certain people crave attention and others don’t. There is no definite answer to it, but there are several reasons that can cause attention-seeking behaviour.


People resort to attention-seeking once they are in a situation where they feel jealous. And that jealousy can be due to many reasons, maybe a kid who has been the only child for many years and now has a sibling, perhaps a woman is at the same party where her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend is present, or even a work colleague is praised more frequently than they are. People with jealousy may do more outlandish things to get people’s eyes off the person and to themselves.

Habitual Behaviour

Different surveys and studies revealed that attention-seeking is very common in young children. Kids learn that if they create a scene, all eyes will be on them, and they will get what they want. This will make them feel like the most crucial person in the room. If parents don’t try to ignore these habits, attention-seeking kids will then become attention-seeking adults.


Someone can possess assertive attention-seeking behaviour because of their narcissistic behaviour. Narcissists always believe that they are far better than anyone else in the room. They want everyone to have eyes on them, or listen to them whatever they say, because they believe that they have many important things to say, making them best among others.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Individuals with this particular personality disorder show extreme emotional behaviour. This disorder is characterized by feeling underappreciated when not the centre of attention. People with this disorder will feel uncomfortable if they’re not the centre of attention, will use appearance to draw attention or have exaggerated or dramatic emotions.

Borderline Personality Disorder

This disorder is a continuing process pattern of instability in self-image, emotion, interpersonal relationships, and impulsivity. People with a borderline personality disorder will do frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. They will tend to feel empty and show intense anger that’s often difficult to control.

Other than that, an individual with a borderline personality disorder will show emotional instability in daily reactions such as anxiety, intense sadness, or irritability.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder always think highly of themselves and make big plans. They demand excessive admiration and have a sense of entitlement and unreasonable expectation of favourable treatment.

People don’t like those with a narcissistic personality disorder because they take advantage of others to achieve their own ends. They possess an arrogant attitude and behaviour.

You don’t need to worry if you or anyone in your circle have one of the disorders mentioned above; these can be treated with a licensed therapist’s help.

How to stop being an attention seeker?

Once you find out that you crave attention and fall into using unhealthy behaviours to get it, you can get treatment. You don’t need to depend on someone else to build your confidence and self-esteem, and you can do it by yourself. Below are some ways to learn healthy behaviours for acceptance and get rid of this attention-seeking behaviour.

Focus on yourself

Before changing your behaviour, you must do a proper analysis of yourself. Acknowledge your behaviour if you have it. The next thing is to identify the reasons why you crave attention. Maintain a written record of every time you find yourself in this situation.

Keep yourself busy

The next best thing you can do is to keep yourself busy as much as possible. You can work voluntarily at a retirement centre, local dog centre, or soup kitchen. This will enable you to think about helping others every time, and you won’t have enough time to think about yourself. Slowly your urge to seek attention will dampen.

Try to avoid triggering environments

If jealousy is the reason for your attention-seeking behaviour, then do everything you can to avoid those environments. And if they happen, then walk away. If you come to know that your ex is also joining the party, don’t go out there, stay at home, or enjoy the evening with your friends by watching a movie. Move departments if you’re jealous of your work colleague. Whenever you think that this environment is triggering your attention-seeking, leave it as soon as possible.

Consult with a therapist

Once you find out that you’ve symptoms of attention-seeking behaviour, it is better to talk with a therapist. It is an effective way to work on changing your behaviour. Our therapist will help you identify where your craving for attention is coming from and what can you do to stop engaging in these behaviours.

How to deal with people who have attention-seeking behaviour?

If you’re not an attention seeker, you often find yourself unable to handle being in the same room as an attention seeker. It is then necessary that you learn how to deal with it and make your life easier.

The first thing you can start with is to ignore them. Like parents ignore their kids until they learn that attention-seeking doesn’t provide them with any rewards. Ignore whatever they do. It will encourage attention-seeking if you acknowledge them, so never acknowledge.

If you have a close relationship with a person who craves attention, you might have the guts to have a serious discussion with them. Ask them to stop behaving like this, even if they stop when you’re around.

Final Thoughts

Due to the high number of reasons that can cause it, it isn’t easy to assess attention-seeking. It may stem from low self-esteem, jealousy, loneliness, or a result of a personality disorder.

If you notice this behaviour in you or anyone around you, consult with a mental health professional that can provide diagnosis and other treatment options.

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