Does Marriage Counseling Really Work

Who Should Seek Marriage Counseling?

Many people think that couples who are about to divorce should seek marriage counseling. It’s a stigma attached to marriage counseling. But the truth is, all marriages have their problems when they struggle to find the solution.

You don’t have to be married to seek counseling as any couple can seek counseling, regardless of their relationship status. Marriage counseling is for a couple of all races, and a couple who have less traditional relationship set-ups like long-distance, married, but no living together.

Many couples want to go to marriage counseling even before tying the knot. There are no restrictions on why you might think of marriage counseling.

Any problem that you don’t feel like you can solve on your own or could benefit from a trained and unbiased perspective can be helped by a few sessions of couple counseling.

Kinds of Marriage Counseling:

Research finds that different problems are better handled by different kinds of therapy. It’s really important to look for a counselor that is experienced in the treatment that best suits your needs.

A trained counselor will help you choose the best technique for your needs.

You should communicate with your counselor about your marital problems and find out if he has experience working with families in similar situations. Below we discuss some of the most common research-based approaches for marriage counseling.

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT):

EFT is based on principles from attachment theory.  It focuses on the couple’s emotions, resilience, and healthy relationship for couples. This kind of counseling has been effective for couples impacted by:

• Traumatic Stress
• Past emotional injuries
• Serious health problems

Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT):

BCT focuses on helping clients change their behavior by understanding its influence on the behavior of people who are around them. Two kinds of behavioral couple therapy (BCT) are;

• Integrative behavioral couple therapy (IBCT)
• Traditional behavioral couple therapy (TBCT)

Integrative behavioral couple therapy (IBCT):

It focuses on emotional acceptance and behavioral changes, helping couples recognize their ineffective behavior patterns or the way that harms their relationship. It also helps couples ways to interact that are more positive for their relationship.

Traditional behavioral couple therapy (TBCT)

It focuses on developing stronger communication and problem-solving skills. These approaches have shown a significant improvement in a couple’s relationships even after serious and chronic problems. Research shows that many couples can sustain a relationship after treatment.

The Gottman Approach:

This approach emphasizes helping couples with stronger relationships. Couples develop a healthy relationship based on a model called Sound Relationship House.  This model is backed by more than 40 years of research by the Gottman Institute. 

 This approach focuses on being relationship healthy by teaching couples to grow in trust and commitment while becoming emotionally intelligent couples.

Individual Counseling:

Generally, marriage counseling is most effective when couples participate and are ready to sort out their relationships. When your spouse is not willing to attend counseling, individual counseling can still be helpful. In this case, it is more important that your counselor has experience in marital counseling. 

A counselor can still try to help you repair your relationship. A trained counselor knows how to work with one spouse by keeping the other in mind during treatment.

Discernment Counseling:

It’s a new approach that addresses couple needs when one member is considering leaning out. 

This involves one spouse who wants a divorce while the other tries to save the marriage. The objective of family therapy is to clarify what each spouse is thinking, there is a desire to work on a relationship, and understand the problem if spouses decide to work together to repair the marriage.

It is more intensive counseling for couples. Discernment counseling lasts a few sessions if a couple decides to repair their relationship. Therapists will develop a more extensive plan for counseling to address their issues.

Pastoral Counseling:

This therapy focuses on clinical psychology and religious counseling. Research on pastoral counseling is limited. Many couples think that meeting with their religious leader is useful when seeking help because they believe there is a strong spiritual meaning to their marriage.

Effectiveness of Marriage Counseling:

The most effective form of treatment is the emotionally focused therapy or couples therapy (EFT). Research shows that this treatment is very helpful and long-lasting with those of various cultural backgrounds.

A study in 2017 showed the effectiveness of couple’s therapy in a group, with variation in age and race, and found it very effective, with relationships still improving 18 months after treatment. 

Another research in 2017 showed that EFT lasts 24 months after treatment. Research published in 2015 found that EFT is helpful in a couple experiencing infertility.

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Marriage counseling has the potential to be highly effective in improving relationships, but its success relies heavily on the willingness and active participation of both partners. It is not a passive process where professionals magically fix problems between couples; rather, it requires a genuine commitment and effort from both individuals.

When both partners approach marriage counseling with an open mind, a willingness to self-reflect, and a genuine desire to work on their relationship, transformative results can be achieved.

Through therapy sessions, couples can gain insights into their dynamics, develop effective communication strategies, and learn constructive ways to resolve conflicts. Skilled marriage counselors provide guidance, tools, and techniques tailored to the unique needs of each couple.

Research supports the positive outcomes of marriage counseling.

A study revealed that 44% of couples seek counseling even before tying the knot, indicating a proactive approach to addressing potential issues.

Furthermore, an overwhelming 98% of couples who participated in counseling reported being satisfied with the results, highlighting the potential for significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and overall happiness.

What If My Partner Isn’t Open to Marriage Counseling?

When it comes to seeking marriage counseling, one common concern that arises is what to do if your partner isn’t open to the idea to resolve conflicts.

It can be disheartening when you recognize the need for professional help, but your partner is hesitant or resistant. 

While it may feel like an obstacle, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost. Communication is key in addressing this situation. Instead of pressuring or coercing your partner to start marriage counseling, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about your relationship issues and the potential benefits of seeking help together.

By expressing your feelings and desires in a calm and understanding manner, you may be able to encourage your partner to reconsider and explore the possibilities that marriage counseling can offer.

Ultimately, the decision to attend counseling should be a mutual one, and finding the right couples counselor who can create a safe and non-judgmental space for both of you can make a significant difference in overcoming resistance and moving forward as a couple to a happy relationship.

What Happens Outside of Marriage Counseling Sessions?

While marriage counseling sessions play a crucial role in addressing and resolving issues within a relationship, the work doesn’t end there.

What happens outside of the counseling sessions is just as important. 

It’s during these moments that couples have the opportunity to apply what they’ve learned, practice effective communication techniques, and implement positive changes in their daily lives. This may involve active listening to one another, expressing appreciation and support, and making an effort to understand each other’s perspectives.

Couples can engage in activities that foster connection and intimacy, such as going on dates, participating in shared hobbies, or simply spending quality time together.

By consistently applying the skills and insights gained from counseling in their day-to-day interactions, couples can strengthen their bond and create a solid foundation for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

What Is The Success Rate Of Marriage Counselling?

The success rate of marriage counseling can vary depending on various factors such as the nature of the issues being addressed, the willingness of both partners to actively participate, the effectiveness of the chosen therapist or counseling approach, and the level of commitment and effort put forth by the couple.

While it is difficult to determine an exact success rate, research and studies have shown promising outcomes. 

Emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT), for example, has demonstrated high success rates, with couples experiencing long-lasting improvements in their relationships.

Studies have indicated that couples who engage in counseling early on when issues arise tend to have better outcomes compared to those who delay seeking help.

It’s important to remember that success in marriage counseling is not solely determined by the absence of conflict, but rather the ability to navigate challenges, improve communication, and foster a healthier and more satisfying relationship.